But look: the valleys shine with promises,
And every burning morning is a prophesy of
Coming to raise and vindicate
Even our sorry flesh.
I woke up at 7:30 feeling as if I had risen from the dead, and looked outside to find an astonishing golden morning out there. I followed an impulse to pick up Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours to read the entry for Friday, Dawn. The above quotation was the opening verse.
So I stopped reading and jumped into the next room for my laptop. I had to plow through a clamoring mob of media images and headlines demanding my attention before I arrived at the blank page to start writing. I have to do something about the entryway to my writing space.
By the time I messed around for 30 minutes trying to figure out why I couldn’t get the quotation to single space (without success), my outlook and mood changed somewhat.
It is already after 9:00.
I seem to be hyper-aware of time passing. The main theme of my writings, back when I was anticipating my approaching retirement, was that I would have my own time. What I have come to learn is that I am just as much, if not more, of a demanding task-master than any previous boss.
The ways in which I have allowed my time to be usurped and frittered over the past seven years are legion, and there is no point in dwelling on the past. This is a new morning.
As was yesterday morning.
In my defense, I had not slept well the night before. I was still awake past 3:30 when I finally got up and had a cup of blueberry tea, but was up at 7:00 anyway. I had told myself I could take a nap later, but I didn’t do it.
I made myself a typically over-loaded to-do list, only wasted about 30 minutes on the Lumosity games, and headed into my day.
The things on my list I did accomplish: Go to library to print submissions for critique group; grocery store; update checkbook & pay bill; work on review; work on critiques; yoga session (gave out after one pose).
Things not accomplished: Blogging; work on story; crochet project; download and start reading book for VP group; publisher search; nap.
I burned out and wanted to go to bed by 5:30, which was too late for a nap and too early for bedtime. So I watched about half the PBS News Hour while I ate dinner, then killed time trying to concentrate on various distractions until the more suitable time of 8:00 arrived and I fell into bed.
But look: the valleys shine with promise.
No long lists this morning. Another cup of coffee, get dressed, and go take a walk.